Tag Archives: apologia

Apologia as Bonus Program for Hospital Charity on August 1

I want to spend some time talking about the August 1 BONUS PROGRAM at the First Friday Book Synopsis  in Dallas.  My topic is:  KarlJ.Krayer


The bonus program runs from 8:30-9:30 a.m.

The fee is only  $5 , and all proceeds will be donated to TAKE TIME TO READ, a literacy program sponsored by the Texas Scottish Rite Hospital for Children

Participants are given the opportunity to donate funds for children’s books at an average of $15 each.

You must register for the First Friday Book Synopsis in order to attend the bonus program.  To do that, simply click here.

ScottishRiteHospitalABOUT THE PROGRAM:   Giving a sincere apology is not the same as speaking in defense of yourself.  They are different contexts, representing different challenges, and requiring different skills.  Learn to do both in this bonus program.  You will learn four strategies for speaking in defense of yourself, as modeled by famous Americans who did so.  You will learn how to give a genuine apology and how to say it like you mean it.  All participants will receive printed resources for both topics.

KidsReadingLogoABOUT THE CHARITY:  Scottish Rite Masons across Texas are discovering the many rewards of reading to youngsters. As part of the Take Time To Read program, Texas Masons are teaming up with their local libraries and schools to read to children, collect books through book drives, and reap the rewards of glowing eyes, smiling faces and eager listeners.  Reading experts agree that reading aloud to children may be one of the most important things that adults can do to prepare kids for success in school.  Their vocabulary is enriched, they learn new information, and the experiences of their world are expanded, Being read to can create a love for books and generate a desire to read.  As facilitator of this bonus program, I am a 30-year member of the Dallas Scottish Rite Bodies, and was honored in 2013 with the Knight Commander Court of HoOLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAnor (32o KCCH), wearing the red hat in the picture above.


The picture to the right is from last year’s First Friday Book Synopsis bonus program where I posed with the Take Time to Read Director from the Scottish Rite Hospital.  We collected donations to buy 31 children’s books at an average of $15 each.

Apologia: Can You Speak in Defense of Yourself?

SorryAboutThatCoverAt the August 1 First Friday Business Book Synopsis in Dallas, I will present the hot best-seller by Edwin L. Battistella entitled Sorry About That (Oxford University Press, 2014), followed by a bonus program designed to help us do that better,.

Who is Edwin Battistella?

Edwin Battistella teaches linguistics and writing at Southern Oregon University in Ashland, where he has served as a Dean and as Interim Provost.  Sorry About That is his fourth book, all of which have been published by Oxford University Press.  He also wrote Do You Make These Mistakes in English? (2009), Bad Language (2005), and The Logic of Markedness (1996).  EdwinBattistella

Why is this book worth our time?

We all need to learn how to apologize better.  As you read this, how many times today did you say or hear, “sorry,” “sorry about that,” “I’m sorry,” “so sorry,” or other variants on the theme?  And, were you or the other really sorry?  If you were, did you sound as if you were?  Have we said those words so many times that we have forgotten how to say them when we genuinely mean it?

We need to SOUND as sincere as our meaning.  First, however, we need to know how to give a genuine and sincere apology.  I have no interest in helping anyone sound genuinely sorry who is not actually so.  I like to help people who are genuinely sorry sound genuinely so.

In this book, Battistella analyzes the apologies given by of politicians, entertainers, business executives, and others, in order to show how the language we use creates sincere or insincere apologies.  Early reviews suggest that this book is effective in connecting actual apologies with the larger social, ethical, and linguistic principles which underlie them.  For a complete review of the book written by Barton Swaim, published in the Wall Street Journal on June 17, 2014, click here.

Particularly impactful to me is the idea that when we avoid naming the cause behind our apology, we sound insincere and inauthentic.  This is just one of several items in the book that may be news to you.

This book reminds me of two other good works about apologia.  One is from Ken Blanchard’s One Minute Manager series, entitled The One Minute Apology:  A Powerful Way to Make Things Better, co-authored with Margaret McBride (William Morrow, 2003).  Another was a more academic piece by B.L. Ware and Wil Linkugel that you can read by clicking here that develops four strategies for defending yourself.

This is quite a book.  We can all benefit from it.

I look forward to talking about with you in August.


Apology / Apologia – coaching

Sara here: I have gotten some response to the post I offered about coaching.  I’ve offended some and for that, I apologize.  That is why this is titled “apology/apologia.”  It is to say that I am sorry for causing reaction – and I would offer my argument to support what I believe about coaching with all sincerity.

I used the term “judgement” and that was a poor choice of words.  Let me be clear that I didn’t mean that anyone was “judgmental” in working with other people.  Language is a tricky thing.  I suspect we often don’t communicate by speaking the same language.

Let me take another run at this.  I was talking about the relationship that should exist between a coach and a client.  I firmly believe that a coach has the responsibility to remain neutral toward client and client’s situation.  A coach’s responsibility is to assess rather than vote.   I substitute vote for judgement because I mean taking a position (rather than being judgmental).  By refusing to take a position, the coach can be curious about the effectiveness of a client in ways that are outside the coach’s experience.   Language does make creating the distinction challenging.

By the way – there are weaknesses in the world and in people, no denying.  However, the job of the coach is not in the area of weakness.  What differentiates a coach from other helping professions is that they to assess how the client sees themselves, help them expand their perspectives and open clients up to their own blind spots.  Ergo, the difference between fixing what’s broken vs discovering new paths.  In fact, in the world of neuropsychology: the work of Daniel Goleman, David Rock and others is reinforcing this understanding of coaching and its effectiveness in helping people change…creating new neuropathways rather than trying to redirect old ones.

I don’t know if I am making this any better!  Here is my last word – I would invite anyone curious about coaching to join us this week at the International Coach Federation annual conference being held in Fort Worth (Oct 27-30).  Come meet coaches and here the distinctions from those more articulate than I!